My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize