You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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