just survived the first fart of the relationship.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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