WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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