my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
