yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
