He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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