when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize