we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize