Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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