a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
