He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
