the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
