Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
