whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
