I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
