I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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