I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
