This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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