Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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