well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
