but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
