that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
