Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
