How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
