Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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