yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
her vagine was all disorganized.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
