I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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