I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
