i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
