My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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