And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
