i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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