its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
