He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
