Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
