New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
