So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
