I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
