I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
