I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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