We're like a lot better than the average bears
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I am one with the molecules
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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