your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
