I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
