his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
