rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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