Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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