so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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