His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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