Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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