Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
