are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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