Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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