She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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