Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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