Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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