you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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