Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize