If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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