the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
