just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
