i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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