So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
