Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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