NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
