Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
