Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
