This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
